My Life as of recent

So it’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything here. and, you know, if you look at previous post I guess it’s sort of an explanation. I’ve been fine, really, but I just haven’t really been in the mood to post anything else, haven’t had any ideas or motivation to post it

so I’m posting now because I’m starting school again in January
January 8th, to be specific. I’m starting it SCC – Southeast community college – and majoring in computer information technology

I sort of nervous about this new major change in my life, but also excited, but mostly nervous.

Mario recent news I won an iPad mini at our Cains Christmas party him it was the top prize and so I am really really happy about winning that I never in my wildest dreams expected to actually win it and so I’m actually posting this from my iPad and oh goodness it’s exciting I’m using the text to speech thing and it’s doing pretty well at heavens I’m just going to come post it as it is perhaps maybe a little editing I I honestly don’t know that yet wait it says Mario goodness

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Update

My grandma – who I called Farmor (Swedish for father’s mother) – died last night.  About sometime around 4am.

My dad called me to let me know about 4.

We got to see her, the whole family, on Wednesday.  One of the few days this week which I did not work two shifts.

She had fallen again like the evening before, I guess.  Everybody just came and sat with her, she didn’t really respond, just kind of stared into space.

Before that, I got to see her I think a week before, also on Wednesday.  She was asleep the whole time until we left and said goodbye.

June 3rd, though, was when I really got to see her, really say goodbye for real.  She had seen an angel that night before (or early morning or something) who had told her she would die at night.  She was pretty shaken up by that, of course …
But she was alert then, doing well.  We had conversations.

Coping

I like things to be explained. Explainable. A precise reason, cause and effect. It’s how you make sense of things you don’t like, it’s like a form of control.

Deconstructing things, down to their pieces, their causes and their methods.

Random Thoughts of Today

Ooooohhhh, lots of posts today!

Here’s the thoughts of the moment:

1)  I turned on my air conditioner for the first time of the year today.  After it was on for about a half an hour, I was wondering why cool air was still not coming out.  I was afraid something was wrong with it again.  So I stared at it for a few moments and then realized … I never turned the thermostat up.  In other words, I FORGOT HOW TO AIR CONDITIONER.

2)  In case my “geek cred” was in doubt, here’s a short list of recent things.

  • I use Linux.  Wary Puppy 5.3, mainly.  I’ve been thinking about what other distros to try, but haven’t decided yet.  I have tried xPUD for the fun of it, but wasn’t impressed.  It’s still version 0.93 (not even 1.0 yet!) and is … well, needing more.  But as far as I know, it hasn’t seen a release for like a year or something.
  • I know multiple phrases in Vulcan, and have started using the language extensively in stories.  Kup-kitau nash-veh ein-Vuhlkansu.
  • My wi-fi network (which I set up “just so I knew how”) is called “enantiomer.”  I don’t have internet though, so I just set it up to share files between computers, which I primarily do with a regular, wired, LAN.
  • While the Sims may not be particularly geeky, I mesh and I create poseboxes.  For Vulcans.
  • I prefer to write my own bash scripts to connect to the internet, rather than using the GUI program.

3)  I have a mint plant.  It’s “chocolate mint,” which is a variety of spearmint.  I’ve had it since my birthday (the 7th) and it’s not dead yet!

4)  If you say “LAN network” I automatically think you don’t actually know what LAN stands for.  (Same goes for “PIN number” and “ATM machine” and “LCD display” and “GPS system” and “PDF format” and “DOS operating  system” and “HIV virus” and “ISBN number” and “UPC code.”)

Things

I don’t even really know where to begin.

It’s being woken up with bad news. How … I mean … you know it’s coming. But, I mean, I don’t know.

Or like, how do you deal with maybe this is the last time to say goodbye?

Maybe, it’s good, to be able to do this without overwhelming illness overshadowing things. I dunno. I mean, real conversations and stuff.

Alertness, orientation, it’s good. It’s hard, when that’s not what your last memory is. When it’s just a dark hospital room, cracked bleeding lips, early birthdays.